When You Wish You Had the Confidence to Just Go For It!
Jay DeVorre, PCC
Leadership Coach | Helping high potentials find endless Confidence
April 25, 2025
Image sourced in Canva Dream Lab
What’s a goal you’d really love to achieve, but you’ve been too afraid to act on (yet!)? Take a moment to imagine yourself achieving that goal. See it vividly, the colors, the details, the good feels, and the sense of accomplishment, satisfaction, and pride.
Now, notice how it feels to be blocked from that goal. Do you feel frustrated? Disempowered? Embarrassed? Maybe even sad? Emotions like these can clutter your mind and sap your motivation, only further impeding progress toward your goal.
If your goal has been in the back of your mind and you’ve felt some sparks of Hope, Desire, and Willingness to pursue it, what I share here just might be the thing that ignites your Confidence.
What's Stopping You?
Perhaps you don't feel ready or you’re waiting for the perfect moment to start. Maybe you're waiting for the right conditions, telling yourself "someday I’ll …", as opportunities pass you by. Or it could be that putting yourself out there feels too risky, and you don’t know what to do about that.
Stagnating beliefs like these are rooted in Fear, and my do they have a sneaky way of influencing you to play small and keeping you from taking action.
The Confidence Conundrum
The tricky thing about Fear is the paradox at its core: under the pretext of rational concerns and protective instincts, it convinces you that you must feel Confident before taking action, and yet, it’s from the action that Confidence grows!
Fear has good intentions. It takes its job is to protect you from rejection and embarrassment very seriously. Unfortunately, it wrongly equates risk with failure, assuming that failure guarantees rejection and/or embarrassment. It speaks with authority, convincing you to wait for the perfect conditions, for you to feel “safe”, so that acceptance and success are guaranteed.
The Sneaky Saboteur
By default, Fear-based beliefs fall outside of your immediate awareness. Fear takes advantage of this, operating in the shadows, planting and growing seeds of anxiety and self-doubt. It’s hard to untangle yourself from something you can’t identify, right?
So, start noticing how Fear shows up in your mind, body, and actions (racing or negative thoughts, tight throat, churning stomach, feeling lost or panicked, low energy, feeling stuck, etc.). This will help you know when you need to take your power back.
From Impostered to Empowered
The next time you need to bypass Fear and take action, try this:
1. List possible options. From “do nothing” to “do the scary thing and succeed”, and everything in between, get all of your options out of your head and onto paper, so you can objectively entertain each of them.
Once they’re all listed, take the following steps for each.
2. Observe your energy. Step back and read the first option while noticing the energy or power you feel in your body. Do you feel limited, low-energy, disempowered…like “little ‘you’"? Or do you feel bold, capable, energized… like Confident, powerful "YOU!!!"?
3. Identify underlying thoughts. For each outcome, ask yourself, "What am I telling myself about this option?" For example, if the idea of applying for a promotion makes you feel inhibited and pulls you into a negative spiral, you might be telling yourself – and believing – “I’m not qualified enough". If you feel paralyzed by the idea of sharing ideas in a meeting, it could be that you’re buying in to the thought, “My perspective does not add value."
4. Challenge limiting thoughts. Ask yourself:
· Is this thought a fact? Is it really true, or am I just reacting to it as if it is?
· What is it trying to protect me from?
· What does the evidence show?
· What could be possible if I didn’t believe it?
5. Choose empowering thoughts. Mindfully choose thoughts that build you up. If you’re not used to healthy self-encouragement, it might feel a little unnatural at first. This step is essential, so keep practicing until self-supporting thoughts do come naturally.
6. Commit! Achieving sustainable self-Confidence isn’t a one-and-done deal. Fear’s in it for the long-haul, so prepare to address it repeatedly. If you want to feel Confident at will, you’ll need to draw clear boundaries, deciding that each and every time Fear wields its power, you’ll consciously take it right back.
Success is the result of repeatedly choosing beliefs and actions that generate powerful, Confident "YOU!!!"
Putting It Into Practice
Let's apply this to a real scenario: say you want to apply for a promotion, but you’re caught in inaction.
First, complete Step 1: List possible options. For our purposes here, I’ll list just one.
Option 1: Wait until I feel more prepared.
Observe: “Feels safe but stagnant, low energy, almost frustrating.”
Identify: "I need to be 100% ready before I can take action."
Challenge: “Is 100% truly a prerequisite to action? What is my Fear trying to protect me from? What if ‘readiness’ comes from pushing beyond my comfort zone? I’ve seen that happen before, so could it be possible in this case?”
Choose: "Growth happens outside my comfort zone, and I learn by doing, so I will break my goal down into small, manageable steps."
Commit: “I commit to my success. When my Fear gets a bit overzealous, I’ll remind myself to keep taking small, manageable steps that stretch and grow me – because that’s how I’ll reach my goals and become more Confident.”
Your Confident Path Forward
Unleashing powerful “YOU!!!” is as simple as tuning in, questioning limiting narratives, and aligning to narratives that inspire and encourage you.
Success is ready for you. All you need to do is go for it!
About the Author:
Jay DeVorre has helped hundreds of brilliant women leaders liberate themselves from anxiety and self-doubt to harness their exquisite, inherent Confidence.
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#Imposter Syndrome
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